Deep freeze.
Lately I feel like my life is thawing from a toxic deep freeze.
I have been through a heavy emotional journey for the past five years attempting to work at accomplishing my dream. I am not sure that a dream is something to be "accomplished" but perhaps to be "lived".
Having walked away from a career that served me well and entering an entirely different universe left me questioning myself and why I was so willing to allow myself to endure something that I felt was so "not me." There were days I just wanted to walk away and return to my comfort zone of being a star and making money in the ad business.
At times I felt like I was numb from the toxicity of the journey.
I thought the dream was over but as I thaw I get more excited by the possibilities and the dream only grows in possibility.
It was to get to the place I am now.
The dream is often more romantic than the day to day living it. Living my dream... following my dream cost something. It isn't always easy and I get afraid at times, but I decided that I will not walk away from the desire of my heart.
This is my life and I only this life. If I walk away I'll never know so the flame that burns within is still ignited. I think that flame is the life of God.
What is the desire of your heart? What burns within you that just won't be extinguished? The dream that you keep dreaming? We quit all too often. We settle, which isn't always a bad thing, but the dream still lives within. I just don't want to die having not attempted to follow my dream. It is a gift that I am able to do so and I am fortunate.
My body is thawing and I can feel parts of my soul that I haven't touched in years... I feel like I am returning to myself.
8 Comments:
Rick,
Well, as usual you hit on something that I have been thinking about and confirmed a decision I recently made.
I am so glad to hear that you are thawing out and still following your dream!
"This is my life and I only this life. If I walk away I'll never know so the flame that burns within is still ignited. I think that flame is the life of God."
I love to hear of folks who live their dreams, even at great cost. It inspires me to uncover and get busy living mine.
I am glad you are finding "thawing".
My dream...my passion.....kind of scares me.....without form yet and like you said perhaps it is to be lived and not accomplished....
A mission centric life....that is my dream.......my desire...and like you the fire that burn within....
So glad you didn't aren't walking away.....praying for you and your journey....b
Rick -
I've made a huge boo-boo and (perhaps) deleted my old blog. It's a long story, don't ask. At any rate, I would appreciate all of my blogger friends to update their links and - if you want - even make short post on your site about the site change (for any readers that may come from your sites). I may eventually move back to trevdiesel.blogspot.com IF I can get it working again. Until then, it will be: trev-diesel.blogspot.com
What an interesting way of expressing this thought. Well done. I'm interested in seeing what happens with your life once you thaw out completely. It's just dawned on me that perhaps my life (my dream) is frozen and needs thawing out also.
Thanks
B~
"My body is thawing and I can feel parts of my soul that I haven't touched in years... I feel like I am returning to myself."
Welcome back! Eyes wide open!
Hey Rick,
I relate to this a great deal. Overt he last 3 months (since I got back from my trip to the Pacific Northwest) and saw so much I have been thawing as well. Started to meet with the local pastor (we have coffee at our opld haunt in San Anselmo), have started to write more, amd joining a local congregation and am dealing with my core "block" of ice.
Of course as soon as I started this, the attacks came...but I knew they would.
I don;t have that much time left to fulfill my core passion. I wasted a lot of time. So as I lay aside encumbrances I am seeing a bit more clearly and "thawing" is a good metaphor.
Rod here in town has been taking and discussing with me the "explusive power of a renewed affection." As our Union with Christ becaomes more realized, we do thaw. Like the scene in Narnia, His presence clets the staues that are us and overthrows the power of the White Witch.
Loveya Dude.
I had many fulfilled dreams in my earthly life which now in perspective look like a frozen wasteland of nightmares. I realized after reading your post, Rick, that the dream hidden within all of those dreams was "to live in the house of the Lord forever. "
He knew that dream, for it was His, and when I was finished my own dreaming, He woke me up to the reality of my habitation in Him! Ah, blessed eternal rest.
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