Temptation, Frustration.

Often in the spiritual life folks talk about temptation from a moral perspective. Folks are seduced by certain lusts: chocolate, sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. These temptations are easy to spot. We all have been faced with the temptation to tell a little white lie in order to spare ourselves and another perceived pain.

The early desert monks withdrew to the desert to escape the temptations of the world only to find that they brought their own “demons” with them to the desert.

It is the subtle temptations that I find myself struggling. It is the “demons” that I carry to the desert with me. What about when I am tempted to give in to fear or doubt? What if fear is simply a temptation to run in another direction? When my imagination begins to run away with me and fear creeps in, what do I do with the temptation? What about the temptation to use my gifts, talents, and power to save myself?

Jesus went to the desert and was met with temptation; the temptation to use his gifts and power to save himself, this would have been giving into fear rather than standing face to face with the temptation and looking it in the eyes.

Fr. Thomas Keating reminds us that in the desert Jesus is tempted by the primitive instincts of human nature. After fasting forty days and forty nights, Jesus must have been desperately hungry. He was faced with his security/survival needs. "If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become bread." Jesus refuses to take his own salvation in hand and waits for God to rescue him. He was tempted to use his power to show the world his strength. Keating says this is the temptation to love fame and public esteem. The third temptation is the desire to control events and to have power over others. It is a temptation not to be vulnerable.

The greatest temptations I face are not chocolate but to use my perceived power to show the world how strong I am; to control events through my giftedness and power; and to use my power to save myself to gain esteem and fame. All of these temptations are fear-based and never allow me to become truly free and clear to depend on God.

When I am in the desert, the demons of temptation come, whether I bring them or they meet me there, I will face them. They are my false-self.