Until God has All of Me.
“Into your hands I commit my spirit.” Psalm 31
This is a prayer that Jewish mothers taught their children to say before bed at night. It is much like our “Now I lay me down to sleep.” It is also the prayer spoken from the cross by Jesus.
It seems that young children are true to their nature. Jesus was true to his nature. He was real. The ego doesn’t dominate children and it didn’t dominate Jesus. No wonder Jesus said we must beome like children if we want to see the kingdom of God. As long as we live in fantasy land where we are only playing make-believe with an illusion of power and control in an adult world we'll never be free.
I am discovering that this is more than surrender or “letting go and letting God.” This isn’t about giving up my fears, doubts and concerns. This is about relinquishing control of my life and entering a deep rest regardless of the outcome. It comes from being clear of my identity and who I am, for it may be impossible to relinquish myself if I am unaware of whom I am and whose I am. As long as my ego is involved and attempting to define my nature I am not operating from a place of true-self. Ego is attached. True-self is unattached.
What am I attached to?
Where I am attached is where I am living from false-self-- a place that isn’t genuine or real, a place that is counterfeit. It’s easy to notice: when I attempt to impress myself or others I am usuaully living from a counterfeit self.
I can’t commit my false self to God. I can only commit my “spirit” or my true self to God.
I'll keep saying this prayer until God has all of me.
7 Comments:
Amen!
Great post.
Hello,
your post really hit me in the stomach (again!).
how exactly does a person totally give up control to God???
Stacey asks a good question. You've written a good post.
I've been many years "in Christ," yet seem to have no way of getting there from here. It's a great mystery to me -- I've sought God so deeply, and have abandoned enormous swaths of my ego to Him as best as I know how (again and again), and yet my life and spirit continue to be squeezed along ever increasingly thin and painful corridors. Perhaps the sheer longing for comfort or an explanation is a way of grasping for control again, and that's why God has to keep bumping up the pain levels. Your words here have so often soothed me during this endless, long dark and inexplicable night of the soul. Please forgive me for the times when I've come cranky.
Bless you as you prepare for the current and coming transition. Also, thanks for continuing to receive anonymous comments.
Hi~
I haven't given up all control to God, but I've given up more than I ever thought I would, and I know how to do it when I finally wanna~
you ask God for the help.
We can't do it alone. There is a saying, "your false self is that thing that leaves you 20 minutes after you die". Humans are tenacious when it comes to ego-protection!
And actually, I'm finding identity to be the thing God shatters and takes from you, as soon as you get serious about being His Love Slave!
You have to go to Him broken by the full realization of your own humbleness, and without a hint of an identity in anything but Him.
This can only be gained through the gift of God, and it will only be given when you reallyreally want it, and are fully committed to reaching Him, no matter what the cost.
By the way, good blog~ thanks for posting this!
Thanks for the comments.
Mark D: I appreciate the amen. :)
Stacey: Thanks for being here. Sorry about you stomach. :) I think it is truly a moment by moment giving up or giving over.
Anonymous: Thank you for being here. I appreciate your taking the time to comment. Now that I "know" you, you can be cranky here whenever you like. :)
Christine: I see you are an Oswald lover. It's been a few years but Oswald was a constant companion for me for a while. There's a ton of great writining out there in the contemplative tradition. I look forward to sharing our discoveries. Thanks for being here!
More of the MYSTERY I guess and I just wanted to thank you for helping me go deeper into it all the TIME!!
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