Shakespeare, Socrates & Jesus.
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." (Shakespeare) In order to be true to ourselves we have to be true to others, don't we?
"We human beings are wonderfully adaptable. We find creative solutions to impossible situations. One coping skill that some people develop is manipulating other people in order to get what they want." The Courage to Change
I know some people have learned to manipulate every thing in thier path for they felt it was necessary to survive in a bad situation. The reality is manipulation in any form is unnecessary. Dr. Joyce Brothers said, "Love comes when manipulation stops." I would add, love of self and others comes when manipulation stops. Manipulation comes from the French word manipule which means "handful" which is where the idea of "skillful handling of persons as well as objects" comes from. "Manipulation has been a normal part of some folks’ lives that they have forgotten how to have a discussion or make a straightforward requests." CTC
I used to work with a person who prided himself on being a master manipulator. He thought he was a leader but often used manipulation to get what he wanted. He thought he was being smart, coy, and wise. Little did he know that the employees eventually caught on to his games and he lost all credibility; the morale in the organization tanked. I’m not sure why he did not just simply ask for what he wanted, instead he chose to play games. He must have been afraid. I just heard from a friend who left his organization because the person who ran the show was a manipulator and not a leader.
Socrates said that the first key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be. Some people don't know how to handle genuine, authentic people. I think one of the greatest gift we can give to oursleves is to follow Socrates advice and to be in reality what we appear to be. It is loving what God created regardless of what the world thinks. Jesus was a great example.
What do you think? Have you encountered any manpulators? How do you handle them? How about yourself? How do you practice authenticity? How do you practice remaining true to yourself today?
4 Comments:
i'd love to be able to point out some master manipulators, but can't for fear that i'd have to point u to my mirror 1st...
what other way to gauge our practice of authenticity than by our continual basis founded in God's word & our thirst to please Him above all else? our unique identity is found in our newness that He provides & there can be no other way to practice remaining true to that than by remaining true to the 1 from which it flows...
if only i were good at this...
I was on staff at a large church. The executive pastor was the most manipulating, machiavellian person I'd ever worked with (and I've been working a looong time). As I hung on to my authenticity, I was cencored time after time. Living like that was awful. It made going back to "work in the world" seem like heaven. In the end, I told the truth and they set me free. I had invested a lot of myself and a few years of my life into that church. As painful as it was to be let go, I still have no regrets in speaking the truth. As a matter of fact, for the first time in my life I didn't search myself with a fine-tooth comb pleading for God to show me the error of my ways. Instead, I thanked God for making me the way that I am and that inspite of all our human ways, He loves us. Being authentic is very freeing, but most church people just don't like it.
I may be manipulating you, but I just posted at my blog an essay based on 2 Peter which addresses a subject quite similar in tone and topic to your post. I wrote it late last night and am using it in my Bible Studies. I wondered as I came to the blogdom today which site I might visit and go offline and yours was it...hmmm.
I encounter manipulators amongst our clientele every single day. They come in all forms and guises, ranging from faux tears to outright bullying. This is the great tragedy of our society for which I fear God will call us to account: abject poverty makes all needs immediate and imperative, reduces perspective to it's shortest possible view and makes God appear absent. Unrelenting hunger, homelessness, fear or uncertainty make the individual the center of their universe. Hence manipulation as a coping strategy, as a survival skill, as a way of life.
In the end, all manipulation is the absence of trust in God, and the predominance of self. I am totally incapable of seeing beyond that to the person created in God's image, the one He loves and died for. I must rely entirely on Him, seeing through His eyes, hearing through His ears, thinking through His mind and feeling through His heart.
Or else I'm sunk.
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