The Garden of Surrender.
You hang on the cross in the middle of my two opposites.
At times I glance in your direction and wonder why are you there,
but selfishly I am thankful that you are.
You bring a presence and comfort to this stark, ugly place.
Do you so desire my attention or is it that your friends have abandoned you
And you’ll do whatever it takes to be known by me?
I see my brokenness though the injustice of yours
and I just want you to never forget me.
I want to be known by you.
Other instances I don’t even bother to acknowledge your presence.
For it is foolishness or at least that is how I avoid facing the reality of my pain.
I laugh, I make jokes, I poke fun, but in my soul I am angry, alone, and afraid.
I need you more now than ever as I hang in excruciating pain
and yet I refuse to open my broken heart. I refuse to surrender to your existence.
I want you to use your power to get me out the jam I’m in,
but I refuse to allow you to use your power to make me whole.
So I hang and the pain remains.
My faith comes from a place of surrender. I want to know God and be known by God. My life with God begins with surrender... daily. God is my goal. I want God. My life works when I acknowledge God, " Jesus, it's me- Rick, please remember me... know me." It is so simple, yet so difficult and far too often I choose to hang in pain looking for a fix as opposed to looking in the direction of Love allowing God to do for me what I cannot do for myself. At times it has seemed foolish for I refused to surrender; I wanted to control.
Today I want to live in paradise with God. Paradise from the Greek means garden and enclosure. I want to be in the Garden the place of ideal beauty, loveliness and a state of delight… enclosed in God’s presence. I want to be returned to the Garden; to the place God intended. Where I can walk naked before God. This only comes through surrender, never control.
6 Comments:
...only through surrender, never control.
...only through surrender, never control.
...never control.
"I (my desires, my preferences, my egocentrism) have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."
I pray blessing on you and your family this Easter weekend. May you find peace and purpose in surrendering to the Risen Christ.
in the middle of my two opposites...
what an amazing thought Rick & great post...
thanks for sharing/bringing about new perspective...
Man, now I realize why you said that your post might connect with my Friday post...thanks, brother.
The thing I struggled with, as I read your beautiful imagery, was the amount of time that "I want to be known by you" was offset by the poison of "but the Church has told me that I'm bad/evil/sinful, and I have to get right with Jesus before I can be known by you."
Part of my past that I try to "not regret nor shut the door on" is the number of "years that the locusts have eaten" - locusts of shame, fear, and unworthiness that kept me standing outside the Presence...and how much the Church continues to play a part in that process.
For example, in Chicago, the archibishop of the Catholic Church has basically said, "If you disagree with the Church on its stands, you are ineligible to receive the Sacraments." So if a man takes immense amounts of illegal drugs and engages in wild promiscuous sex with a dozen partners (the last of whom he rapes and impregnates) he can go to confession, and be absolved. But if he believes the woman he raped should be eligible for an immediate abortion, and says so publicly, he is expected to cut himself off from Communion, Last Rites, and the rest of the Blessed Sacraments. :::sigh:::
That's why I'm grateful for people like you, who keep the focus on Jesus, and the Cross. You are, and continue to be, a gift from God in my life. Happy Easter, brother.
this is an incredible post Rick. Wow. thank you for putting this cry of your heart to words.
"please remember me" have always been the desperate words of some other sinner that's getting his ticket at the last minute. but they're mine, they really are mine.
and you're so right about surrender.. it should be the beginning (and the end) of our every day.
thanks again Rick..
awesome post rick. a glimpse into your heart. thanks for letting me look around...and be encouraged.
Dear Rick,
Your writing from your heart is truly a gift. Thank you.
Your prose gently nudges me to honor "Presence" in our midst.
I recognize this feeling: "I want to be in the Garden the place of ideal beauty, loveliness and a state of delight… enclosed in God’s presence."
And I would say, my friend, that you are already there. It seems to me that we are always in God's Presence. It is our task to open our hearts to realize it. Naked of ego and surrendered of self, I see that you do!
Namaste'
Post a Comment
<< Home