Numbing Ourselves Down.
"That's it, I'm all better now.
Spit-up the last of what made me hurt.
I feel light as a feather now.
At last I finally know my worth." Sara Melson
What are you carrying inside that hurts and needs to be spit-up?
We carry pain.
Perhaps more pain than we know.
Pain that runs deeper than our conscious-self will allow us to bear.
We run from it.
We try to hide it.
We attempt to cover it.
We carry it.
We pretend it's not there.
See my smile?
All to avoid the pain that's already there.
Pain that keeps us from knowing our worth.
So we numb ourselves down.
Perfectionism.
Possessions.
Property.
Position.
Power.
All because of pain
way deep inside.
We need to spit-up the pain once and for all.
Love is the movement.
Love of self.
Not vanity.
Not pride.
Not ego.
Love.
Self.
In the deep places.
The heart.
The gut.
We loves others to the extent that we love ourselves.
Look around.
If we don't value our own worth as a person,
how can we possible value the worth of an other?
Pain blocks love.
Love of God, self and others.
Without pain
there is very little fear.
Nothing to numb.
Only to love.
9 Comments:
You don't actually say HOW to spit up the pain, HOW to love my self, HOW to know my worth. I am a Christian who believes that God loves me, yet I am still stuck. What am I missing? I really need to know. Thanks. stillstuck1286@gmail.com
can't pain also be a conduit to love? isn't a certain amount of inner pain, angst, turmoil necessary in order to learn, to grow, to know our true self, to mature in our faith; in order to discover that love is the answer, that love makes us victors and not victims, that love conquers fear, that love is the truth, the life, the way; that only in knowing God, trusting God and then completely surrendering to Him can we come to that place on the other side where we can freely receive (and acknowledge and comprehend) the amazing and beautiful gift that love is? the undeniable and indestructible assurance that we are accepted by Him and loved by Him allows us to extend that same love to those around us. Could we offer love as freely otherwise? Would we take love for granted if it was all we knew? For some of us, it was unbearable pain that led us to seek God in the first place. He is the only One who can heal those dark, hidden, unmet and wounded places inside of us. His love, His spirit inside of us gives us a new life and a compassion we may never have had otherwise. can a person today who has known only love all along (even from God) really be as loving as the person who was unloved, and then touched and healed and loved by God in a deep and profound way? could the journey of becoming loved by God in fact be stronger than the love itself, which many see as merely a result, a destination? for example, "we have fallen in love (have arrived at this destination), so let's get married", without either person knowing the true essence, nature, and state of being that love really is that makes for a healthy and successful commitment. Having once been unloved, the person who is now loved by God can better relate and have more compassion for others who also feel unloved. Jesus became man, to share our human nature, our pain and suffering, thus allowing Him to be compassionate and minister to us and teach us in a way that only He could, embodying and expressing the Father's love. Having been incredibly loved by God, we are then called to love others as God loves us. signed, PFG
beauty. thank you.
Wow great post.
You need to learn to detach from these thoughts of pain and see them as separate from the real you. They have no reality, they are just things that arise from nothing. Once this detachment has been reached, you can have the courage to look right at these thoughts, turn them over objectively and start to deal with them. Living in the moment is Love, living with regrets from the past or worries about the future is Suffering.
What you say does make a lot of sense. Although, I'm not religious, and never will be. I already know exactly who I am and my feelings and thoughts are my own, the only thing i will ever truly own. Although i don't believe that people necessarily need god to find happiness, or love for that matter, he's real to the people who do believe in him and if that can help people find strength, and hope, that is a good thing.
I don't know how to spit up the hurt. I would like to, I think - it couldn't possibly hurt worse than just sitting in it. I'm in AA now and I hear all the time about surrender and letting go. And I'm a Christian, or so I call myself. With my head I'm ready and willing. With my heart I am a child curled in darkness crying. Wow, drama much? I have to qualify my own metaphor. But it's not over the top. I believe Christ CAN heal all things. But I also believe what I read about people like me, who grew up like me. I think maybe some hurts just hurt for as long as we're in this world. Well, I fear it, anyway.
Wonderful post and thouts.
Keep up the fantastic job you do with this blog.
It is definately one of my favs.
karen.mengle said...
Write more, I live for this stuff!!
Thank you for these words.
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