Feelings Are Not Up for Debate
“Feelings, nothing more than feelings”
That’s not true. Feelings aren’t up for debate.
Somewhere along the road it seems that paying attention to feelings has become a naughty, dirty word with some religious folks. In return folks have learned to deny, suppress and ignore their feelings. Some have been told not to trust their “feelings”.
Since when must our mind be detached from our bodies? And if the two are detached, what takes up the space in-between the mind and the body?
I don’t think I can really begin to understand myself and therefore know myself until I am in touch with my feelings. I actually heard of a fundamentalist pastor announcing to his congregation that the reason men did not go to church was because they didn’t want to listen to a pastor in a lemon colored shirt talk about feelings. I was disappointed to hear this, for I think it was spiritual abuse on the part of the pastor and his listeners. He made it sound like that talking about, paying attention to and noticing a feeling is wrong or bad.
I doubt he has explored his deeper feelings or emotions but I suspect if he did his theology would change and so would his life. He was probably feeling afraid about exploring his feelings. I suspect he needed to pay attention more to his feeling fear than to his thinking that feelings were weak.
Some would say that it is in listening to our feelings and not so much our thinking that we discover who we really are. I imagine that Jesus often left the crowd to get away and process what was happening in his soul. As he breathed the cool mountain air and sat in solitude. I suspect being a spiritually enlightened and conscious person (to say the least) he must have paid attention to what was stirring in his feelings. He certainly had no problem getting in touch with his feelings in the Garden. He provides a good example for all of us.
Despite much American Christianity who wants folks to be thinkers and possess the “correct doctrines” these are often the same institutions that attempt to move folks emotionally with music to get them to “feel”.
Think about you actions. Why do you do the things you do? Ever met an approval addict? Most often it is the feeling of fear that propels them forward; fear of being rejected. Denying feelings or leaving feelings unexplored can keep us from the very truth that will set us free. It doesn’t mean that we always act on what we feel.
Perhaps what we need to do is learn listen; to teach folks to listen to their soul. To pay deep and careful attention to what is happening inside of us; to what we are experiencing inwardly. This means noticing what we are feeling. What are we feeling in any given moment will tell us much about who we really are. This requires that I pay attention to what I am feeling, rather than deny, ignore and suppress what is happening within my soul.
10 Comments:
I may have mentioned this before in response to another of your postings, but ...
That fundamental preacher denying feelings should have heard the older pastor who once told me, "Two hours after you preach hardly anyone will be able to tell you what you preached about. But almost everyone can tell you how they felt.
hey Rick. I've been here lurking and not commenting.
This really hit me since I have been told that feelings don't matter - it's all about choices and choosing to feel the appropriate emotion for the occasion.
anyhow..thanks..its weird now that you moved, I can't think NORTH anymore, not I have to think EAST
Wow, interesting comment there. Perceptive. Accurate.
If I have the "perception" that God has communicated with me, am I "feeling" that or "thinking" that?
I was told on a blog that to think/feel that I perceive God is some kind of hearesy. There was a name for it that I don't remember.
p. softly, Teresa of Avila was told that, too, if I understand what you mean when you say, "perceive". It tortured her for years, to be told that it was evil or wrong to experience God.
They're wrong. They're fearful or jealous or some other foul thing, but the bible holds enough verses to make perceiving Him a very GOOD and RIGHT thing, in my humble opinion~ verses about paying attention to God, seeking His face, commands to seek His righteousness (which can only be gained if we PAY DIRECT ATTENTION to God, whether we're allowed to be able to perceive Him or not), make Him number one in our lives (and how can we do that without perceiving Him more than we perceive anyone else?), and love Him with all our heart, mind, strength... How is He going to stay unperceived, if we're really seeing Him in this way?
To somehow love Him to the depths of your being, yet not perceive Him? It doesn't work that way~ if we truly love someone, we KNOW them, in the most personal way possible,- and I'm off on a tangent, aren't I?
Sorry.
Those people don't know what Love with God is. Let them wallow in their prissy pains~ if you perceive God, you don't need their seal of approval.
Great post Rick. Regarding ...
Some have been told not to trust their “feelings”.
... this is a cloaked message ... it is telling people to lean on their understanding instead of trusting with their heart. This is a huge problem ... trust and faith are of the heart and not the head.
Thanks, Christine. I thought of Be Still and know that I am God. Doesn't that imply COMMUNICATION? Of course, it does. It doesn't say how one will know God. But prayer isn't only talking.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thanks for all the comments.
I will remember the comments concerning preaching as well.
When I am talking about feelings I am not suggesting on acting on our feelings but to notice and pay attention to what we are feeling. Like I said, our feelings are more about our identity than we are often consciously aware. Some have denied and stuffed their feelings for so long that many no longer are intune with what is happening in their soul.
Just because we assume we possess the "correct" doctrine or the "right" beliefs is not an indicaton that we have been restored, made whole, and begun to heal.
It is only when we begin to explore our feeling and be in touch with what is happening inside will be be able to dicover who we really are.
Like the "preacher" who commented about not liking feelings: I imagine that he wasn't in touch with his true feelings and the deeper "feeling" that somehow expressing or noticing our feelings is some how bad. The reality is, he probably needs therapy before stepping into the pulpit.
Certainly we have choices as to what we "do" with our feelings but until we notice and are honest with ourselves about our feelings we won't make "good" choices.
I have met many folks in the church who do wonderful work because it makes them "feel good". There is nothing wrong with doing work that makes us feel good, the problem arises from the deeper place within us that makes us need to do these things "in order" to feel good.
Thanks again. I hope this helps.
Rick,
I have mixed "feelings" regarding your post. I want to quote Stephen Arterburn here...and what he says, I find so fundamental...this is from his book, Healing is a Choice.
"There is a verse in Hebrews that admonishes us to throw off any encumbrance that would weigh us down and prevent us from achieving what God has called us to do. Don't listen to the big lie. If you are riddled with guilt, shame, remorse, anger, rage, anxiety or fear from your past, you need to do some work to solve the mystery of why these feelings exist."
Alls I'm getting at here is that feelings can sometimes be misleading because we are broken. Feelings do matter, I suppose, but I see so often in ministry that feelings are not ignored but used as a crutch.
I mean, who is to say if what someone is feeling is healthy? Many of us have very self-defeating or immature feelings.
I dunno...I don't disagree with what you are saying...just offering another perspective.
Thanks Rick.
Dear Danielle,
Thanks for your comments.
All I am saying is that we need to pay attention to what we are feeling. I think that feelings are not misleading but point to what is happening in one's soul. To deny or supress what is going on inside our souls isn't healthy.
I am not saying that we should act on every feeling but to notice every feeling-- they tell is a lot. Like the quote he mentioned, once we pay attention to our feelings we can begin to discover why they exists.
Thanks. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home