Please Don't Should On Me.

What should you do?

Should.

Huge word.

It can be very healthy
or very toxic.

For example, one should look both ways before crossing the street. Makes total sense.
However, there are many folks who have be living with shoulds that make no sense, or at least, no sense to them. These are shoulds that have been passed down or passed on for decades and belong to someone else. And there are the self-imposed shoulds.

Ever met someone caught up in their shoulds?

Should can be used to express obligation or duty; express probability or expectation; and to express conditionality or contingency.

The problem is, who defines the obligation, expectations and conditions for your life? In other words, who defines your shoulds?

Being should on or shoulding on yourself is often just another form of control.

When I think to myself that “I should” do something I often need to spend a little time reflecting on where that should comes from. Some folks have been “should on” so often in their lives that they have no authentic voice of their own. Many are living from their parents or spouses shoulds from years past. Think about living out some grandparent or parental obligation from 30 years ago. Culture and roles in culture have often denied certain people their freedom to choose how they live their lives for they are so caught-up in the shoulds. Shoulds can and do put people in prisons.

Are there any shoulds in your life that you wish you could escape?

When someone tells me I should do something the first thing I want to know is why. I don’t know how many times in my life I had to talk myself out something that someone else had should on me.

There are many things we as human being should do, but one of the main things we shouldn’t do is to should on ourselves and others.