Seeing Things as They Are.
“You don’t see things as they are, you see things as you are.”
I heard this early this morning. I think this is true.
Often we project onto others our own selves and can only see them through our eyes. I hate when folks do this to me especially in an setting that is supposed to be healthy. This could be true all situations but it is at least true in many situations. Folks project their fear and insecurities onto who you are or what they perceive you to be and often times it has very little to do with you-- it is them.
I usually value the opinion of others who have walked a similar path before me. In other words, I want to hear from someone’s experience from their journey.
My friends in recovery often suggest, "Don’t tell me what you think or share your theology about what you think you know, show me based on your personal experience. Show me where God showed up in your life and transformed you." I once led a bible study/ small group. I had some folks who were masters at knowing what the bible said and could project that on to how they saw you, but they had no clue where God had showed-up in their life. They did not see things as things were, they saw things as they were-- and the plank was often heavy.
I have a friend who is a recovering heroin addict and he told me that he needed a hardcore addict who had sliced his arm with a razor looking for a vein to shoot-up in to have any credible input in his recovery. Why? Because he had gone from Law School to sleeping under a bridge and cutting his arm in order to find a vein. He was hard-core and had lost everything. He needed someone else who had walked in his shoes. In other words, he was not looking for someone who “clinically” understood addition from a text book. He was looking for some one who had walked his path and survived.
How often does the church project things as they see them rather than as they are?
How often do I?
Perhaps this is why it is so critical to share our experience, strength and hope we find with others while keeping the focus on ourselves, for like Jesus said, the plank in my eye often obstructs my vision on who you really are and can prevent me from seeing myself or only seeing things as I am and not as they truly are.
9 Comments:
lots of truth here.
"show me where God showed up.." or in other words, tell me about your story, not your theology.
beautiful, Rick.. thank you.
I think this is what makes it hard for us to be merciful. We can't see why someone has a problem with the things we "have down".
It is so hard for us to see others in the light of what is "wrong" with us rather than what is "right" with us.
sometimes I project my fears on me !!!
I agree that communicating our experience of a transformed life is more important than talking about our knowledge of transformation.
A couple of your other ideas had me a bit turned around, though. Let me try and think this through.
If is not helpful to see things "as we are" and project our own selves onto the other person, why was it necessary for the heroin addict to have someone else's experience mirror his so closely? From your description, it seemed like he wanted someone (let's say me) to see him "as I am." He wouldn't want me to see him just as he is--observing him outwardly, therefore defining him by his circumstances. He would want me to be able see myself in him, creating an overlap of shared experiences that would allow him trust me.
Who I am does intermingle with who you are when we are in relationship with one another. I think finding those points of intersection is what leads to transformation.
I guess the danger comes (and maybe this is where you were going with it) when we expect, in some self-righteous way, that everything and everyone else should be "as we are" already. Is that what you meant in saying we shouldn't see things "as we are?"
Good thoughts, Rick. I am so guilty of projecting onto others my faults AND expectations that it makes it difficult to see who they really are.
Thanks for the insight.
thank you, Rick
Beautiful stuff, brother.
I have lost all patience for the "You need to do such-&-such" brand of Christianity. For the most part, I've stopped listening to mouths; now I watch feet and hands. More than 10 years ago, I read Chuck Chamberlain's A New Pair of Glasses where he declared that the definition of "love" is "action."
If someone's preaching love and inclusion and community, yet still pushing people to the back of the bus, or not feeding the hungry, or clothing the naked, they better just keep on walkin'...
I am fearful of telling too much about my past to others, especially in church...why?
Being judged.
Thank you for a poignant and meaty post, one I will read over and over.
Brother Hump: Thanks for the great metaphors and examples of "witness" and testimony. Fantastic points. That is why you are the man.
To the other's who commented: You all are so special to me. I appreciate your taking the time to write and share your thoughts. I feel loved through you folks.
Thanks!
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