Your deepest DNA?
"Community is a place where ego dies."
Jean Vanier
Do you have a place where you can allow your ego to die? I am talking about a place where you can reveal (as much as you are able) to other people who you are at your deepest level; a place where you can let go of the façade of who you want to be perceived as and reveal who you are?
I usually avoid unsafe and dangerous places like high-crime areas where I could be exposed to some form of physical suffering or even death. Yet, I have found myself in terribly dangerous and unsafe places where I can suffer emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Why would I allow myself to be in such dangerous places emotionally or spiritually, but not physically?
Yet, Cheri Huber says, "Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear . . . our world grows smaller and smaller." The reality is there are some very unsafe places which forces us to choose a "pseudo-safety", which only reinforces our fear... and our worlds grow smaller.
"We often hear that brokenness is a pathway to a deeper relationship with God, but rarely do we see it modeled. It is our weakness, not our competence, that moves others; our suffering, not our blessings, that breaks down the barriers of fear and shame that keep us apart; our admired failures, not our paraded successes, that bind us together in hope." Larry Crabb
When you show me your wounds I am better able to see my own. When I see how you have been healed, I am better am to heal. This is only possible if I am willing to let my ego die... and I need a safe place to allow this to happen; a place where we can invite our wounds to come forth. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours.
A strong model for spiritual community where we can begin to reveal our wounds (in my opinion) is found here and here.
One would think that in the presence of a loving God would be a safe place to begin to allow the ego to die so that who one’s true essence could come forth. My faith tells me that I was created in the image of God; created in the image of Divine Love. Like Richard Rohr has said, "I am not God, but my deepest DNA is God." Community is a place where my ego dies and who God created me to be is revealed.
7 Comments:
Here's the progression...
By His wounds, we are healed...
We are called to be "little Christs"
Therefore, by my wounds you are healed and vice versa...
Let the healing begin...
dallas willard says in one of his books (divine consiracy??) that the early church looked more like a 12 step group than what we see called church today.
i love the picture of 'high emotional crime areas' - i know my church is one of those, it preys on the weak, forces masks and shames the broken into a false presence of strength. it is truly a 'high crime area'. how sad.
our church is a place where ego is stroked. follow the script, practice your lines, don't miss your mark, it's like a broadway play instead of a worship experience.
i realized today that we have so few solutions there because we have 'no problems' - terrifying. even our 'recovery' program is infiltrated by this mentality. health and healing looks more like 'them' than jesus.
thanks for letting me vent rick. great words. praying we all find safe places for ego to die.
If we are in a place where we can truly be open and honest the ego has to die because it seems to me that ego has a lot to do with hiding behind the walls it builds of self protection.
THis is a fascinating post and I am very drawn to the quotes from Larry Crabb and Richard Rohr. I have read comments that our God is not a safe God and this post reinforces that with the interesting link between safety and fear.
Thanks Rick.
Wow Rick, your last couple of posts have hit really close to home...and brought back memories I thought I'd dealt with. Hmmmm!maybe I haven't.
Having made myself extremely vulnerable in a community and been wounded badly in the experience. I tend to be like a crab, you know how crabs are constantly moulting thier shells. Well there is a time when they have no shell at all and they literally run to find some place to hide behind...until they can grow a little more protection, a stronger shell. But I guess God is really trying to tell me I can be a little vulnerable naked crab and not have to hide...because the reality is we're all little naked crabs with all are bumps and bruises.
i remember one of your first posts lamented wanting to do something bigger than yourself, to make a difference. well, low and behold, you have. you are the creator of an online community, one that is changing all of us who come to read and comment upon your blogspot...who knowa how it will evolve over time... where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name...
float on,
frannie
I've been off-line for a couple days, and have been just missing your writing, brother.
Love the comments - especially since I think that any community which *builds* ego, instead of helping it to die, is a toxic entity. Sadly, so many established churches fall into that category.
I thank God for the few places where I have found "my place in this world," as Michael W. Smith would say, and where the community is a MASH-hospital for souls, and not a workout-club for mighty spiritual warriors. I know which one I need more.
Thank you for your words. I have chosen to post a more extensive comment on my own blog at
theospora.blogspot.com.
I am a pastoral counselor, who is relationally oriented, but also understands the need for a solid ego for there to be healthy relationships. I would love to hear you thoughts on my thoughts.
grace and peace
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