I am not God.

There is a God... and I am not it.

I need God. I can't breathe without God. I want God.

Somedays I just need to give my heart to God and ask God to be God and let me be Rick. I ask for God to do God's will in my life, whatever that means. I just want what God wants. I guess this is surrender.

Surrender doesn't mean a forced submission, it means a willingness to let go.

I think of Jesus' encouragement to lay down the heavy yoke and to take on his yoke that is easy and light. I am not sure why I try to carry the loads of my life. What is burdening my soul today? I wonder why I don't lay my yoke down? Is it a way to prove how tough I am? Survival of the fittest? Am I trying to play God? Maybe I think I am supposed to carry the heavy load... or maybe I think of the load as being too light to drop... maybe it is ego? Maybe I don't think God wants my load.

I don't abandon my responsibilites, but I don't take on God's responsibilities either.

I just know sometimes my soul gets burdened from the load... from me trying to play God with my life and the lives of others. And then I look into the eyes of Love ... and he woos me... and reminds me that his yoke is easy and his burden is light... and I can find rest for my soul.

Why do I resist the arms of Love?