Reading Jesus: Theology of Love.
About four years ago I led a spirituality group for homeless heroin addicts at a methadone clinic in a large hosptial in California. I’ll never forget the look the clinic director’s face when I approached her about leading a spirituality group for her patients. She was delighted, but told me that some people believe these were the “worst of the worst”; that no one wanted anything to with them; these are the folks who had burned every bridge in their lives.
She asked, “Are you sure you want to do this? Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into?”
One person, one of my “more spiritual” friends with a disgusted look on her face asked why in the world I would want to work with homeless heroin addicts? She asked, “Didn’t they CHOOSE that life for themselves? Don’t deserve what they get?
Strangely enough, "Bobby" a 38 year-old toothless addict asked me on the first day, “Why do you care? Why would you want to spend time with us?” The only thing that went through my heart and mind was the words of Jesus, “What you do to the least of these you do to me.”
The only thing I can really remember saying to "Bobby" and the others, was that we need each other; for I knew that there wasn’t much difference between me and "Bobby". Granted, if you look only at the “externals” there was a huge difference, but deep inside we were the same. I may have ever been addicted to heroin, but I have given myself up to power, property, and prestige and lost in the illusion of being king of the world and the star of the show. "Bobby" may have torn his flesh with a needle to control and numb his pain, but I’ve torn the flesh of others with sarcasm to control and numb mine. I may have never been homeless, but I know what it’s like to be homesick for God. I may have never slept with the devil, but I know what is like to flirt with him while tip-toeing on a tight-rope at the edges of hell.
And I knew that If Jesus had made room at God’s table for me, then I better scoot over and make room for "Bobby"… ‘cause Jesus said "Bobby" was invited too.
See like "Bobby", I too know what it’s like to be lost… and gasp and grasp at life in an effort to fill the void in my soul, but only by the grace of God do I know what it is like to be found. I’ve felt the ringing in my ears as the angels sang amazing grace… and I sensed they wanted to do an encore for "Bobby".
And perhaps that is why I was there.
It was about seven weeks later in the back corner of the methadone clinic waiting area that I sat in a one-on-one session with "Bobby" while he sobbed like a baby and said to me, “I’ve been waiting for someone like you my entire life.” "Since you started the group, I don’t know what happened, but when I go home at night I don’t want to watch TV anymore…all I do is think about God. I didn’t know God could actually love someone like me. I want my life to change. I don’t want to live like this anymore… I want God to do something with me."
And as we sat there in the silence of the moment, if you listened carefully, you could hear the angels in heaven stand-up... clear their throats... and begin to sing…
for "Bobby" was being found.
As I Read Jesus, I don't think he intended to start an institutional religion; as best as I can understand Jesus, he had one theology; one understanding of God, his Father, and that is -- love. I know the tempatation is to say , "Yea, but..." Usually when I find myself saying "Yea, but..." I can pretty much assure you that my theology and Jesus's theology are not in alignment.
13 Comments:
Whoa....you are writing and living what I am feeling pulled to try to, to give up and just live. I have missed your writing, your story.
Rick, perfect timing. Please read my blog today, I linked here.
Bless you, bro, I miss you lots.
Layla
Your post reminded me of a film I watched yesterday, "Stuart: A life backwards", which is based on the book by Alexander Masters of the same name. It's both the biography of Stuart Shorter, homeless alcoholic and addict, and the story of how Alexander came to know Stuart, and how the biography came to be written.
One of the critics said that the book should replace the Gideon Bibles in hotels and hospitals... I can see the point, partly at least... Finding out about Stuart and his sad and wretched life, it seems obvious to me that Jesus does love him, just as Jesus loves Bobby... I got the impression that Stuart was someone who struggled with his demons... At the end, despite his crimes, I felt I couldn't judge him because I didn't know that I wouldn't have been the same in his place.
thank you lots rick my mom works at a methadone clinic and she sees the people as you showed Jesus would eeys of love why does it sem all too often christians want to be carry out Gods judgment and not His grace love and mercy?? keep on rick the angles like singing!!!
Rick, again and again you lead the way to the 100th Monkey Syndrome through which all of humanity will finally understand the true nature of our reality.
Keep on sharing, even if no one responds. Your counter shows that people are reading you.
Man you are dead on target with your understanding.
Thanks so much.
Namaste.
matt
Dear bro who I've almost phoned way lots the past few weeks... this is one of your best written works and you're already damn good 'n damn "spiritual" (I used inverted comma's to acknowledge the sometimes ass-backwards use of the term and mean mine as honoring of you). You inspire me to say YES to God more, even when it feels edgy. Perhaps especially so.
i completely and totally agree. jesus had one way of seeing the world: love.
the rest is bullshit ... and the way we just slog through, too. bless our hearts.
Christianity 101. Most just never get around to experiencing the course...
Jesus said to the Pharisees:
"There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man's table.
Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.
When the poor man died,
he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham.
The rich man also died and was buried,
and from the netherworld, where he was in torment,
he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off
and Lazarus at his side.
And he cried out, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me.
Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue,
for I am suffering torment in these flames.'
Abraham replied,
'My child, remember that you received
what was good during your lifetime
while Lazarus likewise received what was bad;
but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.
Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established
to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go
from our side to yours or from your side to ours.’
He said, 'Then I beg you, father,
send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers,
so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.'
But Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.'
He said, 'Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
Then Abraham said, 'If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.'"
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY
just found your blog. I googled "pissed of christian"
Hope you're walking all this talk...If you are, good job, if you're not, hmmm......
Welcome folks.
Southpaw, thanks for the comments.
I hope you come back, I suspect you won't , but I truly hope you do.
Just for the record, I appreciate your encouraging words; don't understand the skepticism... For me, it's not about a "good job"; it's about grace and compassion. Having experienced grace and compassion in my own life and my deep need for grace and compassion, I find I am not so pissed off at the world, and I think that lead back to perhaps what brought you here.
I encourage you to keep coming back.
This is powerful, simply powerful.
Thanks
This is the first time I read your blog, it was suggested by another blog-friend.
I must say that it touched me. I am an addict and I think that your courage to reach out to others is admirable to say the least. As an addict that doesn't 'look' like an addict I find it difficult for people to accept the struggles that go with it.
It is nice to see the comparison between the struggles christians have and the ones that we have. It is harder for us to be accepted because it is believed that it was our choice. That is not always the case, if people would research the background of addicts they would see a child hood with little hope. Sometimes drugs become the only acceptance.
I am a christian and struggle with my past, my present and my future. I thank you again for the giant step that you took.
D.
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