Reading Jesus: Part IX Guilt versus Shame

As I continue to read and mediatate on the Word Made Flesh; the One who built a home among humanity, I continue to encounter the compassionate one.

It seems that our world is often one that lives a shame-based life. At first glance, it looks as though society is "shameless" or has NO SHAME: Brittney, Paris, and the Hollywood gang, but I often wonder if our loss of "healthy shame", is due to a great sense of toxic shame at one's core; or a system's core. The shame I am talking about is not a healthy sense of consciousnes awareness, like blushing, but a deeper sense of one's worthlessness.

In my work with heroin addicts, workaholics, alcoholics; sex addicts, love-addicts, culture-addicts; consumerists, etc. I discover people who at their core feel worthless. That might not be how they would describe themselves, but underneath is a sense of "I have no worth" and it the toxic shame-- the sense of worthlessness-- that drives people to feed the pain in their soul through work, relationships, drugs, gambling, etc. I know from my own life, much of my personal "missing the mark" always stemmed from a place of attempting to fill the void and heal the pain and hurt; the times I have acted so unworthy, are the very times that I felt worthless-- and it is a turbulent cycle. It was my feelings of worthless that led to my acting, and my action led me into a deeper sense of worthlessness. It wasn't just guilt of reliquishing my values, it was shame about myself as a person.

As I Read Jesus, I meet a Jesus that never shamed a person. Jesus never spoke or acted in a way that drove people into a deeper sense of toxic shame about who they were as a person. The popular story of the woman who was caught in adultery is an illustration of how Jesus interacted with folks who clearly missed the mark and were spiritually and morally bankrupt. He did touch on the matter of personal guilt for trangressing a moral code and value; he "named the sin" but did not shame the woman; it true in the story about the rich, young ruler. Jesus never shamed those he encountered, even the religious leaders who helped convict him. The Word made Flesh, always acted in a way that honored a person's worth as a human being.

Why was it that the folks who were made outcasts by the domiant culture of the day, were the very ones, who were most drawn to Jesus and felt at home in his presence?

I often meet folks who have had years of tears bottled-up inside and it is only when they have a safe place-- a place where they are loved-- that they can release the pain, the shame, and the tears.

Jesus did not guilt people to God. Jesus did not shame people to God. Jesus loved people to God. You deserve God's love, not for what you do, but for who you are. Those who were shamed were the very one's driven away from God, and I suspect it is true today.

Jesus knew that the only thing that can heal is love. And a person can never heal a sense of worthlessness until they are loved. This was the way, truth, and life of Jesus.