A Talking Ass, The F-word & Deep Conversations.

When the ass speaks, listen.

One of the many conversations I have with people, especially those who struggle with the stories found in scripture are whether or not it is true. For example, many folks get caught up in the debate about issues like Virgin birth etc., without ever considering the profoundmeaning in the story.

Once while having dinner with my wife and a couple of her clients, the inevitable question came-up, “So, Rick what do you do?” When I informed the clients that I was in the process of becoming a priest I got the usual response: the blank stare, mouth comes open, and then a reply like, “Oh, really… interesting.” Meanwhile I watch as they replay everything they had just said and then I read what they are thinking. “How many times did I use the f-word. Oh my gosh, I said it six times to a priest. A priest, can you be married and be a priest? I wonder if they have sex.” Once I assure them that I won’t be offended by their use of the f-word if they promise not to be if I use it and that yes, sex is still a part of my life, they usually relax.

That is when the conversation shifts. It usually starts with, “I’m not religious but was wondering about such and such.” This particular night the client told me she did not believe in the Virgin Birth along with many other stories. She also relaxed when she discovered that I wasn’t going to attempt to sell her my ideas or change her mind.

I said to her, “You know, I don’t blame you, some of these stories really seem far fetched and hard to believe. As a matter of fact, some faithful Christians have the same questions as you.” She relaxed a little more and ordered another glass of Chardonnay. Then I said, “You know, I too have questions about some of the stories found in scripture, just like you. And I agree with you, some Christians are pains in the ass."

She relaxed a little more and turned her chair to me. I continued, “What I attempt to do is to understand what the story represents and what it means. What does the Virgin Birth say about God?” She’s now fully engaged. I went on to talk about a God who enters the womb of a poor peasant girl who has no voice or “value” in society, etc. That God chose to come to the powerless and the most vulnerable place to enter humanity in 1st century Palestine. Fifteen minutes later I had given her the story of incarnation instead of attempting to "prove" the Virgin birth. For the next two hours she proceeded to engage me in conversation about faith, her story of heartbreak in the church etc., all because I did not debate her and asked the simple question, what does it mean. It was a start.

These conversations happen all the time. Like last night at the sushi bar. The woman sitting beside me struck up a conversation and after about 30 minutes of conversation sprinkled with the f-word and a few others, she asked, “So, what do you do?” I thought, “Here we go again…” She informs me that she is not religious. I said to her, "Don't tell anyone but I'm not sure I am either." Then we proceeded to talk for an hour about deep issues of faith, God and meaning in life. And she share her search for meaning in life. I listened.

I have found that most people who “do not believe” actually don’t mind engaging in issues of spirituality. They love to hear the stories and how I, as a priest, struggle, to makes sense of my faith and are intrigued by the idea of asking what the stories may mean, instead of arguing about the history or if it is possible for a donkey to talk--like the story of Balaam’s Ass found in Numbers. The question isn’t can a donkey really talk, the question is, what did it say? “ So rather than being a pain in the ass to others about what is right or wrong or historical, when the ass speaks, we need to listen.