Where's the Love?

There is much talk about God’s love and loving others, but what about loving ourselves?

Often we are better at loving others than we are ourselves. I know that by loving others we can often love ourselves, but that isn’t always the case, is it? That isn’t always love either, is it?

Much of the sound-bite theology pontificated from pulpits only perpetuates the lack of self-love in this world and continues to wound the wounded to their core. Like the lady who had been robbed of her dignity and was on the verge of being stoned to death, therefore stripping her of her humanity some wanted to focus purely on her behavior and the law. Jesus focused on her soul and her humanity and basically said "You loved by God, now start loving yourself."

Turn and and give your heart to the Good News that you are one of God's beloved. When you do, you won't want anything less than to love yourself. When we truly love ourselves, we won't be able to do anything else but love our neighbors. Loves fosters love. Hate fosters hate.

At my very essence I am molded, shaped, and formed by Divine Love, so are you. God reminded me of this reality through the life of Jesus. I am not God, but my deepest DNA is God, and so is yours. The "kingdom of God" is in you. Remind yourself of this everyday and choose life.

Look into the eyes of your child and tell him that he is a rotten piece of crap and deserves hell, but that you love him and see how that distorted message shapes his view of you, self, and God. See if that message won’t leave the child in a state of disgrace versus grace.

I have spoken to countless folks in my work as a Chaplain at the hospital who believe that God loves them and often do things to love others, but fail miserably to love themselves.

But how do we begin to truly love ourselves?

Perhaps like agape, loving ourselves is not a feeling but more of an action.

Just as we would stand-up for a child who is being abused or would defend our own children from emotional, psychological, and physical trauma, need to do the same for ourselves.

We have to take action and love on our behalf whether we feel like it or not.

When do we end the relationship that dulls the grandeur of our life?
When do we lie in bed and recoup from what the world dumps on us everyday?
When do we drop the fork that holds the slop that we shove down our throats?
When do we love ourselves enough to follow the dream that God put in our heart?

I am amazed that when I mention self-love all too often I get some sound-bite back from someone who wants to remind me of sin; wants to remind me to hate myself. Jesus came to remind us that love is the way: God, self, and others. Maybe the greatest sin is not the behavior, but shame-based belief that at our core we are undeserving of love: God’s love, love from others, and love of self. That it is big lie. That is the evil that is so prevalent. No damn wonder we continue in a state disgrace.

French poet Paul Valery said, We are wont to condemn self-love; but what we really mean to condemn is contrary to self-love. It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently pursues us, that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from losing ourselves.